My friend
Vijula’s seven-year-old daughter Nyssa recently won the second prize at a
national level painting competition held in her school. The topic was ‘What do
you want to be when you grow up?’ Nyssa’s answer was ‘I want to be me’ and she
drew a painting of a girl running around in a garden, all happy and free.
Incidentally, when Nyssa had mentioned her theme to her teacher, the latter had
given a surprising and callous response, ‘What is that?’ This is the state of
affairs today where our children have to be ‘someone’ in life and only then
they would be successful. Sad but true!
Every child
is asked this question at one point or the other – What will you be when you
grow up? Doctor, engineer or teacher? Mind you, the last option is for those
who have outlived all other options. The option of being a painter, writer,
artiste, sculptor or a kite maker is never there. The child then grows up with
the thought that only those professions that bring in money are worth pursuing
for these alone will get them respect in society. Thus, parents and teachers,
though unknowingly, condition the children’s mind towards such a thinking that
stays with them throughout their life.
With this thought
ingrained in their minds at every step of their student life and after, the
children lead a life with the sole hope of meeting that aim in life – to be
rich and successful. They are sent to highly paid tuition classes and thus,
come what may, they have to stand first in class. Even if they haven’t
understood the basic concepts, it doesn’t matter for they can always learn by
rote and reproduce in exams. This is not all. In the name of extra-curricular
activities, they are sent again to some ‘classes’ that will again be of some
social standing rather than the children’s interests or likings. Where do these
activities leave children? The little ‘me time’ that they get are spend
solitarily most of the time, either by watching crime thrillers on TV or
playing violent video games. There are no social get-togethers, playing in the
outdoor with friends or taking a walk in the wood. There are no activities
which are just only for fun minus any competition. Everything that they do is for the sole
purpose of winning or to be ahead of others. Where will this generation head to? How will
our future society be? It is a scary thought, definitely.
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Yet, all is
not that bad. It is heartening to note that there is growing awareness on the
importance of letting the child pursue her dreams and that happiness is what is
important. Movies like ‘3 Idiots’ have contributed to it. So, there is a change
in the mindset of parents regarding career choices but it is still a long way
to go even before we can say to our children that money is not as important as
happiness and that it is adherence to values that will decide their success in
life, not marks or multiple degrees.
When Nyssa
said that she wanted to be herself, it meant that she was going to be the way
she is. She does not want to be like her classmate who might be aspiring to be
a doctor neither does she want to be a teacher like her mother. She just wants
to be herself and when she will grow up, she will decide how to earn her
livelihood. Let her be so and I am sure, one day, she will find success on her
own terms. I will feel twice happy that day for she must have not only reached
where she wanted to be but she must have walked upto that goal, not ran past
anyone or pushed back someone to reach her goal. Then it is definitely her
victory alone. Nyssa, you are a star, already. Be the way you are. Just be ‘you’.
Thank you baby, for teaching us adults, too, a valuable lesson.
